Not every bike deserves a redemption arc, and today we’re calling out the ones that prove it. From outdated cruisers that feel like punishment to bargain-bin disasters pretending to be sport bikes, these machines are the definition of mid. We’re talking gutless engines, prehistoric tech, and designs so uninspired they could make Valentino Rossi rethink his career choices. Buckle up — here are five motorcycles I wouldn’t ride even if you paid me.